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Hoppin', Boppin' & Never Stoppin' : How Jazzercise Can Instantly Cure Your Cancer and Make You Live Forever - Seriously! is an instructional Jazzercize VHS series that notably led to the death of Jeb Stoves, decades after the title's claim was exposed as fraudulent at best. The series had a subscription model, releasing a new VHS every month from October, 1985 to January, 1991.

Concept

The series features live music sets by smooth jazz multi-instrumentalist duo Hopson "Hop" Benson & Doctor LaRoy Bopp of Hop-n-Bopp, which are accompanied by the musical aerobic instruction of personal trainer Jørgen "Never Stop (Doing Jazzercise Regularly)" Bundgaard. 

The jazzercise portions are occasionally interspersed with commentary by the three, most frequently Bundgaard. The comments were anything from encouraging phrases to schizoid religious ramblings, to tidbits of health and wellness advice. 

Legal Troubles

Hop-Bop-Never Stop, PA, the legal entity formed by the trio to produce and distribute the product, was the target of massive class-action lawsuits that claimed the series promised to cure their cancer. The plaintiffs were thousands of viewers of the series who forewent medical treatment of their cancers in lieu of jazzercise. The suit was spearheaded by the California Cancer Legal Advocacy Association (CCLAA).

Proceedings hit especial troubles due to the fact that the entity is a Professional Association that contains no actual professionals. Doctor LaRoy Bopp was convicted of contempt of court for frequent outbursts that he held doctoral qualifications in various fields to include Boogie, Boppin', Gynecology and Boogie-Boppin'. 

However, the civil and criminal charges were dismissed based on a single clip from Vol. IV, Tape 12 - A Christmas Boogie To Have Your Family Watch While You Do, in which Bundgaard says, "Here's the Answer: It Doesn't!" The clip was presented as the answer to the prospect of a cancer cure presented in the series title ("How Jazzercise can instantly cure your cancer and make you live forever"). The veracity of this claim was deeply questioned, but even the original recording of the program is so badly distorted by multiple transitions from 8mm film to BetaMax to VHS that it is impossible to tell.

Additionally, the defendants were awarded reparations in a countersuit, a landmark class-defendant action that bankrupted the families of thousands of cancer victims. The CCLAA was ordered to declare all three of the plaintiffs "Heroes of Curing Cancer*" and to fund massive marble statues of them on its campus. It declared bankruptcy soon after.

History

Origins

King Felix I was partly responsible for The First Ozark Campaign / The Old Ark Revolution, which overthrew Arkassouri Commonwealth ("Old Ark") and established Guild Protectorate of Arkassouri. Placing himself as its leader and even subtly acknowledging his status as a Guildsman of The Hitchhiker's Guild put him in violation of The Hitchhiker's Oath. As a response, the Hitchhikers sent a warning to him through The Regulators, who requested that he return to Bowling Green Chapter ("Swallowed Two Boxes Loudly"). He ignored these warnings, instead returning to the wilderness to wage The Second Ozark Campaign, a guerilla-counterintelligence campaign meant to remove all Hitchhikers and Regulators from the territory.

During the three-year campaign, Felix was surrounded by increasingly zealous followers. His paranoia at the prospect of infiltrators drove out anyone who questioned him, and drew into his inner circle anyone who subscribed to the now-legendary status afforded to him by locals. Particularly interesting casualties of the effort were Frank Palmer & Maria Barton, who had a substantial role in the First Ozarkan Campaign and who had expressed criticism of Hawkins' supposed role as a singular leader. Both were falsely labeled Regulator infiltrators, and executed for Treason.

The Reign of King Felix I

Hawkins abolished the short-lived Guild Protectorate and declared himself King Felix I, First Monarch Of Ozarka.

Despite his claims of believing in Anarcho-Primitivist Culture, his reign is much better characterized as Feudal-Primitivist Culture. Agreeing with the common refrain that Capitalism had apparently caused the downfall of humanity, Felix went the opposite direction of most and decided that instead of developing a new system, Ozarka should regress to the previous one. He issued the Ozarkan Technological Sustainability Decree, which illegalized most modern technology for anyone outside of his inner circles.

Gradually, efforts by the Guild to neutralize Felix died down. Despite his instability and apparent mental illness, Felix was an uncanny survivalist and a skilled guerilla leader. Even when he returned from the wilderness to Mountain Home, the draconian reforms he would enact on the Kingdom made it even harder to infiltrate. The Guild eventually reasoned that any damage to their reputation was not much worse than the usual slander, and that they could probably achieve more good elsewhere where they were welcome with the locals. Ozarka is now a dangerous territory for Hitchhikers, only the bravest of whom do anything but pass through quietly.

Geography

Boundaries

The Northern boundary is defined by the Missouri River, which meets Forth Leavenworth in the West and United American Workers' Syndicates in the East.

The Western boundary extends into former Oklahoma, ending at the Sandstone hills region. There it proceeds south along the boundary of the Ouachita Mountains, meeting the border of Alamo Republic.

The Southern boundary extends from this point to encompass a portion of the West Reach Of Bayou Riche, which maritime border extends to Menfis in the East. 

The Eastern boundary simply follows the Mississippi River from United American Workers' Syndicates to Menfis.

Government & Politics

Sectors

The Kingdom is divided into two social sectors: the Partisan Class & the Citizen Class

Partisan Class

Members of the Partisan Class are the only ones in Ozarkan Society exempt from the Ozarkan Technological Sustainability Decree

Ozarkan society goes to great lengths to segregate this sector by several means:

  • High castle walls encase Mountain Home, the seat of government and the only nearly modern city left in Ozarka.
  • The population is cloistered within Mountain Home, and even then is mandated a mostly Luddite lifestyle.
  • Citizens are required to communicate in the Ozarkan Language within this sector and with travelers, though may use standard English Language with the outside residents of Ozarka.
  • Culture has drifted enough that those in Ozarkan Partisan Culture have little in common with those in OzarkanPeripheryCulture anyway.

Members consist of the King, The Royal Ozarkan Security Agency (ROSA), The Royal Ozarkan Honor Guard (ROHG), and any personnel deemed critical enough to stand as an exception from otherwise draconian rules of society.

Citizen Class

The Citizen Class lives a life of agrarian feudalism and strict limitations in technology, enforced by The Royal Ozarkan Security Agency (ROSA). It is subdivided among the lords and their vassals.

By oath, Aristocratic Classs owe military aid to their king, and Serf Classes owe agricultural yield to their lords. Conversely, the king and lords are responsible for the protection of all their subjects.

Fiefdoms

Foreign Relations

The Kingdom is isolationist and non-interventionist in foreign policy.

They do some trade with neighbors, but having neither the means to produce technologically advanced objects nor the desire to acquire them, there is often little to trade but commodities. However, the area is agriculturally rich so a healthy enough trade flows with most of the Western communities of Bayou Riche, Forth Leavenworth, and New Africa.

Military

Economy

Infrastructure

Formal infrastructure in the Kingdom is relatively poor, consisting of the remnants of the US Highway System and the public streets that met ruin after Federal Emergency Austerity Act (FEAA). The Kingdom has declined offers from United American Workers' Syndicates to repave their roads, instead preferring to repair what roads are vital for defense with its own limited resources.

However, a system of Desire Paths has been created ad hoc to serve the now mostly feudal agrarian communities of the Kingdom.

The Hithchhiker's Guild is a secretive, decentralized collective of operatives with a social mission of improving the communities of North America and overthrowing tyrants. Their role varies from spy to samaritan to vigilante, depending on the situation.

In the future, terrestrial travel is less of a default choice, so the descriptors of different modes of travel are a bit less articulated. The action that we call hitchhiking is simply called traveling or getting a ride. Hitchhiking specifically refers to the actions of a Guildsman, and carries clear connotations of such. It is generally assumed that someone does not own their own vehicle, so getting a ride is the most common mode of terrestrial travel in North America.

Establishment & Original Membership

The Guild dates back to the aftermath of Emergency Interstate Travel Restriction Act, which made travel highly dangerous for the uninitiated or undocumented. Safe travel became a major concern after the Federal Emergency Austerity Act (FEAA) progressed, which enabled predatory types to roam the highways with far less fear of government enforcement.

The original rolls were largely recruited from members of Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon (Self-Help Group), NarcoticsAnonymous, Crust Punk Vagabonds ("The Genuines"), AnarchistCulture, PrepperCulture and ConspiracyTheoryCulture. All of these groups had a deep and lasting effect on the original culture of the Guild. 

Known founding members of the Guild include:

The Guild has never had a leader, though Guildmasters are people of unofficial authority within established Unknowns. 

They have historically had some backing from states, most notably New Africa and formerly/surreptitiously United American Workers' Syndicates.

Cultural Currents

Upstream

HoboCulture

Punk Culture

VagabondCulture

Trucker Culture

AACulture

Prepper

Early Anti-Surveillance Culture

North American Culture


Downstream

Ozarkan Culture


Belief System

See also: Hitchhiker Culture

Their principles are expressed by The Hitchhiker's Oath, but some do go rogue. Notably, the first Monarch Of Ozarka was a Hitchhiker who got greedy. But for the most part they eschew power, riches & glory for the sake of their cause, which they refer to as The Principle of Being Small.

Hitchhikers are some of the last true believers on the continent, seeking to rebuild order and justice after what seemed like apocalyptic destruction.

It is not uncommon for Hitchhikers to find common cause with Unionists, but their goals are divergent. Hitchhikers seek to correct efforts of self-determination to do right, whereas Unionists seek a revanchist reunification of the United States of America. Hitchhikers are justifiably skeptical of restoring the state that created this chaos in the first place.

Membership

Membership numbers are low, by design. They are highly selective and secretive. Members must undergo a Hitchhiker Initiation ritual to confirm their membership.

Structure

The Guild is decentralized and atomistic, designed for each member to be as survivable and self-sufficient as necessary. There is no formal leadership structure, though one generally errs on the side of agreement with the local Unknowns & their Guildmasters.

Guildsmen will Apprentice for three years under the sponsorship of a more experienced agent, then progress to independent travel as a Journeyman.

A Journeyman has two paths to MasterHH:

1. A Master may select them for apprenticeship, teaching them the techniques required to be a Master. A Master Apprenticeship takes five years.

2. A Journeyman who has accrued a sizeable network and a certain level of experience in an area may find it more useful to travel less, serving instead as a hub for other Guildsmen. They are elevated to Master when their network considers them to be one.

As a Guildsman proceeds in the organization, they learn more advanced Shibboleth to verify their status of trust. 

Still, this structure is informal. It is not unheard of for a Guildsmen to disagree with other members, and in rare cases come to direct conflict due to a difference in values.

If a Guildsman is generally agreed to have gone rogue, the The Regulators are the specialized internal task force Chapter for addressing such matters. Rogues are a black mark on the organization, and are dealt with ruthlessly because they threaten the legitimacy of the entire mission.

Operations

Hitchhikers are decidedly interventionist, where they have the power to be so in concordance with The Principle of Being Small. Being publicly known as a Hitchhiker could be a death sentence in some places, and even in the safer areas it's not a good idea because word always gets around.

The collective is somewhat small in number and works in subtle ways. They are not taking over areas, just tipping the balance so that they develop in the right ways. They prefer self-reliance and independence even when operating in concert, many teams splitting and reforming as needed for a task. Every member is intended to be autonomous, and able to travel, survive and blend into nearly any community or wilderness they encounter. As a result, vetting is cautious, intense and selective.

Their lifestyle tends towards the margins of society. Hitchhikers are more likely to camp in a homeless camp, TentCity, ruins, Outlands, Sprawls or wilderness rather than a location that would draw substantial attention to their means.

Still, it is not unheard of for Hitchhikers to infiltrate higher echelons of society, as the ideals of the organization transcend class. A Guildsman is encouraged to stick to the environment where they are most prepared, whatever that may be.

In effect, no Guildsman is expected to do it all - some specialize in wilderness survival, others in political intrigue, others in advanced technology, yet others in combat and sabotage. Their backgrounds run the gamut of races, classes & cultures.

Reputation

United American Workers' Syndicates

The Syndicates were an early supporter of the Guild, but later withdrew official support as they wanted to keep their hands clean of interventionist actions. Teamsters are often prime suspects for membership, despite their non-interventionist philosophy, but it's not unheard of. They often go to lengths to advertise that they are not Hitchhikers, and want no part in their often seditious endeavors. Any Teamster who acts too much like a Cowboy is at risk of being suspected a Guildsman. And it's not unheard of for a Cowboy to join the Guild, making for a powerful ally. Okay, the Syndicates are largely benignly infiltrated. It's a good thing for everyone.

Conversely, many Hitchhikers are critical of the often mercenary attitudes of Teamsters, frowning on those who work with slaver states and enable the worst actors, yet claiming a role of supposed neutrality. To the Hitchhikers, non-intervention is a pipe dream, and many Teamsters don't own up to their actions.

Northwest Pact

The Hitchhikers are almost universally welcome within the Pact territory. Their pro-social actions have been appreciated, though some holdouts resent their interventionism. But this remains one of the few regions where a Hitchhiker need not keep his identity secret, except for the need to keep it secret everywhere else.

Minneapolis Motor Syndicate

The MMS's outrage at the suspected intervention of Hitchhikers in The Akron Conflict was responsible for the Razing of Akron, the city being the supposed headquarters of the group. The Hitchhikers had indeed infiltrated the membership of Alcoholics Anonymous at that point and were using its network for recruitment, but Akron was not any kind of base of operations as the group was already decentralized from its inception.

Hidalgo

Zero tolerance. La Sindicación ("La Sín") does not really care who the Hithhikers are, but they are seditionists and thus targets for the most extreme brutality.

Kingdom of Ozarka

The Hitchhikers are nominally respected as part of the national myth of liberation, but this is still a monarchy that sees them as an existential threat. Modern hitchhikers are considered here to be a rogue branch of the true form, exemplified by King Felix I.

Dust Bowl & Outlands

Say what you want about the brutality of the Dust Bowl, but it's at least evenly apportioned there. A Hitchhiker is as likely to be victimized as anyone in these wild parts, so Being Small is an important survival strategy where you might look like an easy target.

Spanish Coast

Generally appreciated but seen as outsiders.

Notable Historical Hitchhikers

The Guild in Gameplay

This is sort of an ideal organization for a protagonist or party thereof. The members are autonomous but have freedom of choice plus risk of corruption. This parallels the freedoms of such fictional organizations as D&D's Harpers, Wasteland's Desert Rangers, ATOM RPG's ATOM organization, Encased's CRONUS Organization, and probably every Player-Character factory in any form of interactive fiction.

Therefore, design in the setting should proceed such that a Hitchhiker might presumably be anywhere, be it on Earth or elsewhere. 

Random completed articles

The Gatorade Explosions were a spate of deadly accidents in the year _____, caused by the misuse of Gatorade Plasma Cells as a power source.

Immediately after the release of Gatorade Plasma, various actors in all sectors (public, private, commercial) misused Cells as power sources - for desperation, profit, or getting off the grid. The engineering in a Cell was beyond the understanding of most people, and even those academics who could advise on the right way to do it advised strongly against it. Most ignored the warnings, as for the average person it was their only option economically. Cells were so incredibly cheap because they contained pure thirst-quenching energy in an extremely cheap package that had a small chance of killing you and everyone nearby.

When Gatorade Plasma Cells exploded, they often set off a chain reaction. The explosion was consistently large enough to level long swaths of suburban houses. So I guess there is sort of a happy ending in all this.

Paolo Soleri (21 June 1919 – 9 April 2013) was an Italian architect. He established the educational Cosanti Foundation and Arcosanti. Soleri was a lecturer in the College of Architecture at Arizona State University and a National Design Award recipient in 2006. He coined the concept of 'arcology' – a synthesis of architecture and ecology as the philosophy of democratic society. [1]

Soleri was the conceptual originator of the field of Architectural Arcology, the nascent movement of Arcology (Science). His project of Arcosanti is one of the first demonstrations of Arcological principles in practice.

Sources

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paolo_Soleri

Mother Lomoi (Boduan)s dominate so much of the biomass of Bodue that different parts of their anatomy tend to define the ecosystems they live in.

Ecosystems

The Bull Age is the period of Boduan Natural History characterized by an earlier form of Mother Lomoi (Boduan), who competed for survival by forcefully uprooting neighbors. It was supplanted by the Mother Age about 6-7 million years ago. 

Uprootings

Main Article: Competitive Uprooting

Between the modern "Mother" species, an uprooting takes about 1,200 years on average, and they occur about every 200 years.

Their predecessors, the "Bull" species, grew much more aggressively. Uprootings are estimated to have occurred around every 50 years on average, with the process averaging about 600 years to elapse.

Effect on Fauna

See also: Fauna of Bodue

The increased precarity of dwellings placed great pressure on oviparous species, and a good number of them went extinct during the Bull Age. Marsupial and viviparous species fared somewhat better, in many cases acquiring a roaming tendency.

Nearly all species on Bodue can now identify when an Uprooting is taking place, and will instinctually avoid the tree that is to be uprooted.

Effect on Flora

See also: Flora of Bodue

The Bull Age brought the near-monopoly of the Lomoi over most of the biomass on Bodue. Flora that relied on symbiotic relationships with Lomoi, whether parasite or epiphyte, flourished and diversified. 

Free-standing plants were almost all wiped out from the various forms of turmoil that Lomoi wrought on their environments. Those that survived evolved to reproduce quickly and spread far, in order to either outrun the Lomoi or grow on their new Pseudofloors. 

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