“pissin’ dahn it were mate, absolootly cats and dogs, soaked to the skin i was but we went back to that statue, some uvver wizardy bloke comes this time, but that big knight fella doesn’t want to look at the statue no more, oh no, he wants to go back to that room with the goo, dunno what e’s finkin’ now”
“anyhoo, we saw where the goo comes from and there some skelington there, which big knight promptly loots, and i looks at the bones and shudders, coz you kno mate i does not like them skellingtons at all, not one bit”
“next some orbs, yeah big glowy balls of spectr’l stuff, ‘ovverin’ ‘bout givin’ out some old gib-gab they woz, abaht some big knob an’ ‘is book of int’restin’ fings, but there’s a big ol’ pile o’ stuff sittin’ there and the orbs says, yeah, they can talk, nah i ain’nt ‘avin’ yoo on mate, they’s talkin’ balls of light mate, anyhoo they says we can take the stuff an’ bugger off coz they ain’nt lettin’ us read their book, and i dunno me letters so’s just fine wit me, and ol' big knight nabs a nifty sword from the pile that i had me eye on”
“only one door left now, i tries me hardest to get that bast’d lock open but it was a bugger and dwarfy chips out the lock makin’ a racket, and we follows the passage and, would yer beleef it, more bluddy skellingtons, lyin’ there skinkin’ they was, nearly chuck’d me guts up”
“so we press on, and there’s anuvver door so out comes me tools and i nearly dun it mate, but had to get dwarfy chipper again, and i canny beleef it more of them bluddy bleedin’ skellies behind, only this time they start comin’ after us, yes mate, no lie, this was movin’ skellies, and we all hoof’d it outta there pretty darn quick, chuckin’ water and wot not behind us”
“we run all the way out an’ some bast’d waiting forrus up top start his shootin’ and i nearly ‘as me last breff had that wizard not ‘flect’d the arrow wit me name on it, lucky escape that was, an’ it was still chuckin’ down all the way back, still gots a few pennies but ol’ big knight takes that sword and finks he’s some ‘oly avenger now, blimey this story dint make me throat dry, yes mate, anuvver ale wuld be nice, may the gawds bless yer”