1. Notes

Marriage Traditions

Cultural
While marriage is at least heard of throughout the Ironlands, more specific traditions vary widely by circle.

Mossgrove

Like many other aspects of life in Mossgrove, weddings follow the cycle of the seasons. The rites take place in two parts: a small, private ceremony at the beginning of spring attended by family and close friends, and a village-wide celebration at the harvest festival.

At the spring ceremony, vows are made and rings are sometimes exchanged, and its informal nature allows for a wide range of family traditions. The ceremony's primary purpose, however, is to plan out the wedding project—a large construction project for the benefit of the town, typically a small cabin, bridge or garden, though the definition is flexible depending on the physical ability of the couple. Whatever they choose, a stone with the lovers' names engraved upon it is incorporated into the structure.

The newlyweds live and work together over the course of the project, and these months between the spring and harvest ceremonies serve as a trial for the relationship. Should they successfully complete their work, they are officially considered married; should things not work out, no harm is done as long as the project is at a stage where the marriage stone can safely be removed. The buildings of divorcees are rarely torn down unless a marriage ends in severe betrayal or abuse, but they are considered unlucky by superstitious villagers.

Couples who survive the summer and finish their project are then honored with a feast, dance, and plenty of alcohol on the third day of the harvest festival. The centerpiece of the meal is a large stew made with a food offering from each of the newlyweds—the better it tastes, the more good fortune is headed their way.

Labhinn

The proposing party must scavenge a soda straw from the deepest cavern they dare to enter alone. Upon returning to the circle's populated caves, they must locate the object of their affections and, without a word, toss the straw to them. Catching the straw indicates an accepted proposal, while failing to catch it rejects the advance. The proposal can be attempted after a rejection, but no sooner than one month after. In cases where the recipient is known to be interested in the marriage but was caught entirely off-guard or is simply very bad at catching things, people have been known to quietly ignore a failed toss or two. Acceptance of a proposal without damaging the straw is considered an omen of a long and happy marriage. Exactly how poor an omen crushing the straw is varies depending upon which major family you ask.

Every year, all engaged persons have their marriages simultaneously at sundown on the winter solstice. While couples may have somewhat private ceremonies in smaller caves should they so choose, it is much more common for weddings to be held fully intermingled in the Grand Cave or even on the surface. So long as a Moon Priest is able to oversee (from whatever distance) the exchange of vows, the wedding is considered valid.

Teios

Prior to declaring their intent to marry, the parties involved must engage in at least two fair duels with each other. Specifically, each party must earn a solo victory in at least one duel. Couples cannot be officially wed until they thusly prove themselves to be equals in combat. Some rather odd dueling formats have been contrived for this purpose, but so long as they are genuine martial battles in some sense, they qualify. Should any party be found to have thrown a match in pursuit of their desired partnership, that person will be immediately banished from the circle and their desired partner forbidden from following after them.

The wedding ceremony itself is typically as rowdy an affair as any other celebration in the place. Little organization is necessary or common save for the inclusion of the Dance of Union and, of course, a bounteous supply of alcohol. While the traditional steps to the Dance are strictly choreographed, in reality the marrying parties can get away with darn well near anything that's done to a beat, so long as it takes place within a drawn circle and ends with the mixing of their blood.

Thornwick

The formal courting process begins when one party presents the other with a wearable accessory—often it is jewelry, frequently handmade by the giver, and always containing a piece of Hearth Amber as its focus. The recipient has one work week to either return the gift or wear it. Returning the gift is a rejection of the proposal, which is then considered to have never happened.

If the gift is accepted, the recipient is, per usual, obligated to repay it. In this case, however, the return gift will exceed the previous one in value. This gift is typically a useful household or trade item, always made in Thornwick but not necessarily by the giver. Another gift of higher value must be given by the first party in return. This continues in a cycle for some time, depending primarily upon the time interval between gifts, where longer intervals are generally thought to indicate some hesitancy on the couple's part. Finally, when either party is able to fairly gift a place of residence to the other, the courtship is complete. Couples are popularly considered married at this stage, but an official ceremony still follows.

Prior to the ceremony, each party must craft an armband for the other. The wedding band must be based in the key materials from the person's own trade, be it leather, glass, wood, metal, or something else. Some may need to incorporate additional materials for functionality; Winter's Sun Thorn is a favorite in these cases. It's considered an ill omen for the union for one party to see the other's wedding band before it has been completed. Once both armbands are finished, they are exchanged in a ceremony attended only by family. Once approved by the house in power, the couple is officially wed. Approval is almost always given, with the only known rejection reason being that the union would in some way be destructive to the productivity and wellbeing of the circle.

The couple and their families agree to consider no debts owed to each other until the end of their days together. As a gesture of this, the initial courting gift must no longer be worn after the wedding. Armbands are typically kept on publicly for the duration of the marriage, but removing them for work purposes is never frowned upon.