Elorday, 13th of Muvay
We met up for lunch. I had a poor sleep – Kuro was frightened by the bear, which is unusual, he’s usually a fearless bastard. I stayed up a bit to keep him calm. I can blame the bad sleep on that, but it was nightmares. All the usual ones. Bad day on my birthday is definitely a recipe for... whatever the opposite of ambrosia is. A poison to the mind.
Oris – after complaining about the food – pestered me about my mood. Told him, politely, to shove off. He did not. Christopher took this as a jumping off point to try and get us to open up. I expressed, quite clearly, that this was off limits. They keep pressing.
We hashed it out. Went to Naomi to turn in the Chalice, she asked us to do another job. Enter the hunt, bring back the prize so it can be mounted above the Angry Fist for a better reputation. Harris isn’t participating despite his 9-year victory streak, and his friend isn’t judging. Clean slate. We agreed and our reward is two years worth of free food there on success.
We split up, I told everyone to meet up at the Dragon Tooth. Eat a meal well before – but not too much – and dress nice. We’re in for a night of drinking. While waiting I got my hair trimmed (been getting knotted and tangled, the ends are split), a new nice outfit, visited the tattoo artist and put a down payment for the tattoos, went to the Bells about sending stones (too short of notice, maybe later), and finally prepared the bar for us later.
Aggma showed up first and complimented the new look. Despite myself... it was nice. I appreciated it. We went in and started our drinking game. Wed, bed, or dead. We all went around and they took to it surprisingly well. (I said Dead: Harris, Wed: Nila, Bed: Alyna). Sett copied me, and Aggma chose Alyna for bed as well. Good taste to both I suppose.
Next was Patch & Punch. I think most was productive. I told Sett that when he doesn’t agree he goes quiet rather than voicing his displeasure which is fairly uncooperative; but when he decides to do something there is no trying. He gets it done. I think its admirable.
Christopher (by default) had to say mine. He said I try too hard to keep my bad thoughts to myself despite it being obvious, but I am driven and do my best to take care of everyone where I can. I asked him to clarify and Oris answered for him. I’m not sure if his explanation is what Christopher was thinking, but... I clammed up a bit.
Finally just the question time. Oris pried for more info on the rules, getting caught up in the minutiae. Everyone else seemed to get it. He got to start and asked a good question, so I think he might have gotten it despite his curiosity.
As we went around we asked some good pointed questions. I was asked if I regret being a soldier. It took me by surprise. No. Not in and of itself. What I did, who I lost, what my actions caused... what I felt. The joy, the thrill every time I took a life. Didn’t matter whose, didn’t matter why. What mattered was the inclusion, the celebration of it. That. That I regret, that I never want to feel again. Be again.
Pippa Dorian showed up. Pelor’s piss, I just wanted a day off work. Oris wished for another round of drinks, but looking at my hands and the way the bar is shakin’... we’re done. We stepped out into the cold night and I felt how much the night air snapped me into a bit of my senses. Tomorrow. Tomorrow we’ll deal with that. Tonight... sleep.
You know, my birthdays always sucked. But the day after was always good, where I could enjoy it with my friends. I think... Yeah. This year kept the tradition up. After a long time.