HOW TO NOT BE REMEMBERED BY OTHER PASSENGERS
We have all had those moments when it was most appropriate to depart a region without further notice by the locals, whether from financial agreements gone awry or an inappropriate evening spent with a farmer’s son or daughter. If you find yourself in such a position, your best course of action is to leave with all haste and a minimum of remembrances, keeping the following points in mind.
Don’t panic. People tend to remember strong emotions; if anyone witnesses you distraught or worried, they are far more likely to recall you later. If you can, appear bored or mildly impatient to better blend in with other passengers.
Avoid bright colors. Wearing gray, brown, tan, and other neutral tones lessens the impression you make in your fellow travelers’ minds. Keep any weapons or armor in your pack, rather than displaying them openly.
Do not be a warforged, goblinoid, or shifter. We hate to be so dreadfully blunt, but these races still inspire discomfort (if not outright fear) in many commoners, and such feelings are always remembered. If possible, members of these races should disguise themselves as another race before boarding public transportation.
Hide in plain sight. Don’t skulk off to an isolated corner. Sit with your fellow passengers, taking notice of them and smiling at what they say. You would be surprised how quickly normal interaction, however pleasant, is forgotten, while abnormal behavior is remembered far longer.
HOW TO SPEAK TO A BOUND ELEMENTAL
I am certain that the thought has crossed all our minds while riding on an airship: What if the fine heir of Lyrandar piloting this vessel were to choke on a fishbone at dinner and die on the spot? Could any of us seize control of this ship and safely guide it to town? Rest assured that such thoughts will trouble you no longer if you keep the following steps in mind.
- Approach the helm, usually located to the rear of the ship’s top deck. Look for the elegantly carved wooden wheel.
- Address the elemental in a firm, resolute voice. Make it know that you will be giving it orders now, and it will do as you command. It is important that you set the tone for your relationship with the creature as early as possible, and that tone must be one of superiority.
- Above all else, avoid bargaining or making deals with the elemental. Do not promise it freedom or rest or any such luxury; merely command it to do as you wish.
- With luck, the elemental will already be following your orders. If not, try again, but be more indignant, demanding to know how it dares defy you. Try to work up a good righteous anger.
- If all else fails, allow someone else to try. People with good speaking voices, such as actors or singers, have been known to have a knack for projecting the appropriate sense of command.
HOW TO SURVIVE A CRASHING AIRSHIP
When a water vessel begins to sink, it is almost always a good idea to evacuate as soon as possible. Even if it simply means throwing yourself into the sea, there is always the chance of swimming to shore or being rescued. The elemental airships that have increased in popularity in the last few years, however, do not offer the same option. Indeed, it is highly recommended that you NOT throw yourself overboard, lest you and the ground have an unfortunate meeting some distance below. Instead, consider the following.
If you don’t have access to feather fall or some other similar helpful magic, your first task after crossing the gangplank is to identify all the dragonmarked Lyrandar crew members on board. One might possibly possess an aberrant dragonmark feather fall ability. Buy this crew member many beverages in the reception lounge.
Look for life rings. These soarwood rings are placed strategically along the main deck of better airships, allowing you and three of your fellows to float safely to the ground.
If you can find no life rings and cannot fly under your own power, then we suggest attempting to reverse the crashing of your ship. Remember that airships are naturally buoyant, so that most crashes result from the bound elemental driving the ship into the ground (by accident or, more rarely, from spite). If a rogue elemental can be suppressed or an uncontrolled elemental commanded in some manner, the ship should remain afloat.
In rare instances, significant damage to an airship’s soarwood hull can negate its floating properties. If this is the case, we suggest finding the most structurally protected area aboard the ship and barricading yourself there. It is possible that the ship might collide with the ground at an angle, leaving much of the hull intact. Whatever you do, do NOT wait until the ship has almost crashed into the ground and then leap off. You will strike the ground at the same velocity as the vessel, and will almost certainly be slain.
Without a magical means of surviving the crash, your best hope is to right the ship. In the wheelhouse located at the stern, pull back on the yoke as far as you can. If the wheel is unresponsive, apply a mending spell to the support structures for the elemental ring surrounding the ship.
As a last-ditch effort, suspend yourself in the netting used to secure cargo in the airship’s hold. The elastic nature of the netting may provide some cushion to the crash—enough, perhaps, to at least preserve an identifiable corpse.
Along with these other methods, we might humbly also suggest a prayer to whatever church you find most comforting in your time of need.
HOW TO SURVIVE SLAVERY IN DARGUUN
When Korranberg Chronicle reporter Kole Naerrin went undercover as a warforged indentured servant in Thrane, his bondage was limited in duration and tempered by that nation’s generally well meaning (if rigid) code of justice. Make no mistake, though: if you fall into bondage in Darguun, your experience will be nothing like Naerrin’s demeaning but relatively painless work-a-day servant’s life.
As a slave in Darguun, you will be whipped, starved, and kenneled with beasts. If you are lucky enough to survive, your bruises and the stink of goblin will be set so deep in your flesh that you may never feel yourself again. The first rule of slavery in Darguun is thus: avoid it at all costs. Some calamities cannot be helped, however, and for those unfortunates fallen to chains under the shadow of the Red House, the Wayfinder Foundation offers these survival tips. Follow orders. Slaves are cheap in Darguun, and the bugbear overseers think nothing of slitting a recalcitrant slave’s throat to save gruel at mealtime. Be especially obedient immediately after capture in a large group, for the overseers will be looking for a head to pike as an example to others.
Know your captors. The Rhukaan Taash, the Kech Shaarat, and the Kech Volaar value power, revolution, and knowledge respectively. Appeasing your masters is easier if you know their predilections. Beware the Kalkor Marguul; to praise the Lhesh Haruuc in their company is to invite a halberd in your skull. Improvise. You will need weapons to escape, but not even the dimmest goblin runt deep into his rotgut allows a slave to arm itself. The “shusk,” a bugbear canine tooth lashed to a stick, makes an effective dagger, and is readily constructed from the remains of bugbears beheaded for disloyalty. One tale that reached Conclave ears described a monk of the Orlaun monastery near Wyr who fashioned a spiked chain from bugbear teeth, rat sinew, and his ankle shackles. The Foundation highly recommends learning basic weaponcrafting and escape skills (useful for wriggling free from bondage) before journeying to Darguun.
Keep your head up. A slave without hope is a slave who will never be free. A slave with his head down is a slave who will never see the key left carelessly on the wagon yoke. A gnome chimney sweep escaped a life chained inside the flue of a Wyvernskull tavern when he saw an ignorant goblin toss an unread scroll of teleport onto the cold embers. Be ready for any opportunity to escape.
If you are a former Darguun slave, contact the nearest House Sivis message station at our expense. The Piton wants your story! Earn gold and support your fellow Wayfinders!
[Piton Ed. note—The Wayfinder Foundation’s newly unveiled Map Perilous shades Darguun as an amber travel zone. This makes the advice in this article all the more relevant as hordes of amateur explorers, treasure hunters, and foolhardy travelers are bound to see the amber shading as an open invitation to visit the Lhesh Haruuc for high tea. Please circulate this article liberally among your acquaintances in the traveling community—the life you save could be a friend’s.]
HOW TO SURVIVE A SACRIFICIAL RITUAL
The sahuagin of Shargon’s Teeth, the Dragon Cult orcs of the Shadow Marches, the Carrion Tribes of the Demon Wastes, the Seren barbarians, and even the drow and debased giants of Xen’drik—all these practice living sacrifice. As a service to its readers, the Rope and Piton provides the following advice to those who find themselves trussed to the stake.
Feign conversion. Take a cue from the thunder guides and always know the language spoken in the area you are exploring. If captured, call out in this language as if visited by a holy spirit and shout the praises of whatever deity is relevant.
Generate distraction. If you are a mage with the ability to cast spells by word alone, conjure a monster in the middle of the congregation. If your animal companion escaped and is lurking at the amphitheater’s perimeter, order it to howl. While the savages are focused elsewhere, make your escape. Demonstrate unpalatability. Most sacrifice rituals demand a strong, pure victim. If you manifest signs of disease, madness, or any other trait that is anathema to the savages’ culture, you might be spared a death on the altar.
HOW TO SURVIVE BEING THE SOLE SURVIVOR OF A THUNDER SEA EXPEDITION
The regions touched by the Thunder Sea are many and varied, but they are united in their degree of peril. Should you find yourself alone on a continent far from Khorvaire, observe the following guidelines.
Look for explorer marks. These precious signs can be a lifeline. You are not truly alone if you find writings left for you by your fellow explorers.
Do not be a “Khork.” The veterans of Stormreach refer to those who leave Khorvaire for the first time as Khorks. A Khork expects there to be water around every corner, an everbright lantern over his shoulder when the sun sets, and a cooler cart of fruit and cheese to stop politely in his vicinity each meal hour. This will not happen in the wild. Always hoard water. Expect the worst and prepare for it.
Do not enter unexplored territory. Stay put if you can, since a rescue party is most likely to begin its search where you were last seen. Above all else, do not go somewhere that you have not previously ascertained to be safe. Among other dangers, your new location could prevent divination magic from locating you.
HOW TO SURVIVE A VOLCANIC ERUPTION
The increase in demand for shards from the Dragon Below has resulted in more and more Wayfinder members daring the reaches of Khyber on prospecting missions. Since these shards are often found in and around volcanoes and other natural magma flows, we present this guide to not being burned to a cinder.
- Mind the ashes first. While the glowing underground river of magma flowing toward you is certainly alarming, keep in mind that you will be dead before it arrives if you do not protect yourself from the massive clouds of ash produced in an eruption. While it would be best to have a breath mask of some kind, even just putting a damp scarf over your mouth can increase your survival time. If you are in a group that contains a warforged, homunculus, or other nonbreathing creature, rely on them to lead you away from the worst of the ash.
- Avoid the magma at all costs. Do NOT rely on standard magical protections against heat or fire. Molten rock can easily overwhelm all but the most powerful protection spells. More than one explorer has thought himself proofed against the magma’s intense heat, only to find his abjurations expired within seconds and his body consumed by fire shortly thereafter.
- If you are on the mountain itself, move quickly but carefully down and off it. The side of an erupting volcano is highly unstable and prone to rockslides, in addition to the dangers of aboveground lava flows catching up with you. If you have access to flying magic, now is the time to use it.
- Once away from the volcano, find the highest ground you can. Lava will flow to the lowest point, although keep in mind that flows of over 60 feet in height have been recorded. It is much better to find a safe place to wait out the worst of the eruption (which can take days) than to risk flying through the ash-filled skies and over molten ground. Be careful if you use an extradimensional space to hide from the lava flow; the duration of the spell might not be sufficient, dumping you into the lava when it expires.
HOW TO DEAL WITH DARK ELVES
It has recently come to the attention of the Wayfinder Foundation that an increasing number of explorers of the Lost Continent, when faced with an angry band of dark elf savages, are attempting to battle (or worse yet, parley) their way out of the situation. We cannot emphasize enough that this is NOT recommended procedure. We present this more rational approach to extricating oneself to safety.
- Begin running. If possible, run back toward your vessel or mounts. If no such conveyance is available, simply run directly away from the dark elves.
- If you are carrying sufficient quantities of antitoxin—and by all means, you should be—begin quaffing liberally while running. Dark elves make extensive use of poisoned arrows and spears, and a quick nip of preventative elixir has saved more than one explorer.
- Try to keep to brightly lit areas. The dark elves find the glorious sun uncomfortable, even painful, and may be discouraged from pursuit if forced to follow you across a wide-open savannah at noon.
- If all else fails, try leading your dark elf pursuers toward any encampments of giants you have previously encountered. With luck, the two races’ mutual enmity should cause them to begin attacking one another, allowing you to slip away in the confusion. However, be warned that this trick has a high likelihood of leaving you facing an angry group of giants, which may be worse than your current situation.