1. Journals

Borun: Department of Natural Mysteries - 1

Session
Borun's Journals 2021-08-14

What in Pelor's name happened? I was enjoying a few beers with my son in the Blackjade tavern and went to be cabin out back to relieve my bladder. I finish my business, turn around, and the door is replaced with some sort of portal? I've seen my buddy Barynor do similar things, so of course I walk through. What a terrible mistake!

I fell from a great height, but still landed slowly on some sort of obsidian rock, surrounded by what would become my new companions. Maximilian Griffiths was the weirdest of the bunch, speaking in riddles and using words I can not comprehend. He seemed human, but with clothes and an accent I have never heard. Rillia Gladestone seems to be a Tabaxi that I could understand, other than for her curiosity. Sozolan Dreyarch or Suzie was some sort of either water genassi without the wetness, or something different.

Some seemed unphased by our gathering in this weird place. We hopped magically onto other islands what at first seemed impossibly far, and found a door. Opening that door was my second mistake.

There are no words to describe where we ended. It was horrible like the nine hells, ugly like the city of Bad Loz, and full of signs and rules everywhere. At first I thought I landed in Frynia, since elves love rules, but it was worse. I think Max recognised this world, as he used words to describe things, but he might be a charlatan that is good at inventing words to describe weird constructs.

At that point I was getting thirsty! So we set on leaving the building and finding some ale. I was able to exchange some coin for some paper, which they use as currency here. We found what they called beer, but it looked and tasted nothing like our ale! At least this helped with what was to follow.

Max kept bringing us to where we needed to go, pocketing himself a bottle of stronger ale in the process which he did not offer to share. Rude and a charlatan? Colour me surprised! We were transported in some horseless and metallic carriage helmed by some person named Benny. Benny was a poor fellow, some necromancer's twisted joke on an animate dead spell. Yet despite his foolery of an existence, he could tell us we are dealing with something called the DNM - Department of Natural Mysteries? And we are in some land called Canada.

We arrived back at the DNM, got in and travelled to another floor of the building in some mimic like contraption. We entered it, and it talked to us but didn't eat us (I think). There was some confusing exchanges between the mimic and Suzie, with "sticky hands" making Suzie both aroused and afraid. Luckily Rillia had a bag of holding to keep the ale easily accessible and cold.

We were taken to another floor and interacted with some spirits. Now things made more sense: we were inside some form of magnificent mansion spell, with unseen servants that could react. I wonder if this isn't some twisted trick from Barynor? But I'm not sure he is crazy enough to create such a weird magnificent mansion. The spirits' only form of communication was through "humour", For some reason, the more gibberish in a joke, the more likely a spirit was to be teleported. Max wasn't enjoying this at all, but Suzie and Rillia made some attempts. 

Once the spirits teleported away and no longer a nuisance, we found a human stuck in an ice coffin spell. I didn't have my mace with me, nor dissipate magic spell, so started a fire. The room was magically set up to cast a small rain spell above us to turn out the fire, but Max could protect us with some magic dome spell? I never know if he's speaking or casting spells. The ice coffin removed, the person inside woke up and introduced themselves as Steve.

Remember the ale from before? I'm not sure if it was ale or poison, but shortly after drinking some, my memories become blurry. I remember some details, and just silhouettes of others. Poison, or a failed modify memory spell? Anyway, Steve helped us take the teleporting mimic again, suggesting that the mimic was in a troubled relationship with another mimic named "Sttaires" and their son "Eiskalator".

We made it up, found no elephants in the room (we were initially warned by Max that there would be elephants in this room), and talked to a women named Orla Tivest. This is where the poison was effecting me, and I don't have any memories of our conversation. 

I am confused and just want to go back drinking with my son!