Welcome to the Department of Natural Mysteries (DNM). A Canadian institute made for investigating extranormal and non-normal events and objects that go against our general understanding of the world.We assume anyone here has a minimum security clearance of Site Access. Please report to the Security offices at your earliest convenience. ...

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Hello, and welcome to the DNM database.

If you are seeing this message it is because you have come onto the premises without a security ID or other form of identification to sign in. If this is in error, please find and present your badge. Otherwise, please proceed to the nearest Security booth as soon as possible. If it is impossible, for any reason, to go to the nearest Security booth then simply stand and wave your arms until one will come to you. Inform them of the reason you could not approach them (be it duress, under the effect of an ENO, NNO, or other outside force, or any sort of physical debilitation), and cooperate with them.

If you are found to not have permission to be on site you will be asked to leave.

Have a nice day, and welcome to the Department of Natural Mysteries.

NNO-14-UE “COUNTDOWN TO MY RETIREMENT TIMER”

CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES

This object is marked as a non-threat object. It should be stored somewhere visible and be under constant video monitoring. All timer 0-events that come to pass should be marked in the logbook NNO16-UE-L and diligently tracked.

DESCRIPTION/EXTRANATURAL EFFECT:

The object is a small plastic countdown clock that measure 6.35cm (2.5 inches) tall, 12.7cm (4 inches) wide, 6.35cm (2.5 inches) deep and weighs 40.82 grams (1.4oz). It has a digital display in the center that counts down with clock drift small enough to be negligible. The drift resets when the clock does.

On the slanted back-piece there are buttons to change and adjust the countdown, however these do not work. Inside the housing there are 2 AA Duracell branded battery. These hold no charge. Removing the batteries turns off the clock, however inserting them again resumes it as if it continued to tick down.

When the countdown timer reaches zero it lets out an electronic chime that sounds as if the batteries are dying. The timer then resets to a new countdown.

No known pattern found for the countdown. Events recorded are assumed to be those recorded in the logbook and later double checked. Events range from something as simple as a dog dying in the office to global.

Special thanks to:

  • Salvatos for his help with CSS as well as his redacted script.
  • Beefpotato and Tainted for ideas on some NNOs and ENOs.
  • Phil Wang of thispersondoesnotexist.com
  • Obviously Illestis, Karuga, and ArcOnyx of the Kanka team.
  • And you, dear reader :)

NOTE: The portraits of characters are not real people. They are AI generated. Any resemblance to a real person is entirely unintended and coincidental.