"well wicked mate, had them down as a bunch of losers but they was right bravado when the ef'lunt hit the shutter, no wot I means?"
"there's this pointy hat wizard who's got some idea about haulin' some statue of a winged goddess from under the old keep down river, he's got some piece of armer'd hulk and 'is dwarven mate interested and they wanted someone who noes 'bout sneakin' and trappin' and I says I'm your man"
”so'es we get a nice river cruise in this rig manned by one of the baron's lackeys, with some manic half pint and a few uvvers and a trip down the caverns and sure 'nuff there's some winged bint lofting a sword looking all marbly and gracious but the pointy hat and 'is other robed marte says the writin' on the walls is deadly and that"
"after soddin' 'bout lookin' at rubble there's a gust o wind, so instead there's a port-o-cullis that the nasty knight wants to get past and he spies the spiggy that turns it up on t'other side" "so he's says all poncy like to me you any good wit that bow o yers, and I gives him a little grin and whilst the beefy short arse hefts the bars I sends me arra straight and narra and hits that spiggy square on and lo the bluddy bars go up!"
"only anuvver feckin' cave beyond though, but some smart lookin' door and I can hear somefin' babble abaht beyond, but then the pointy hats give a yells and there's some gems floatin' before us, and finks somefin' is lookin' up when the first bit of treasure arrives"
"but wouldya leave it, the gems is in some giant blob of goo thats rumbles over the dwarf and our luvverly shield maiden whilst pointy hats start tryna set fire to it, thinking it's some ooze or slime, buts me and nasty knight plug it full of arras and it blobs out kind of, but dwarfo and the girl are as stiff as pikes!"
"there some big rush for the gems, never mind the stiffies, but they're fine and we drags them back out, coz that statue ain't going nowhere wivvaut a big gang of muscly blokes whichpointy hat and nasty knight is gonna hire next time"
"in the end the gems was petty cash but got me a few beers, which reminds me it's yer round mate, bottoms up!"